Do you seek to know which type you should ask out on a date? Have you ever had a friend that you just clicked with? Or maybe you have that one family member who just gets you like no one else. Oftentimes, the people we look up to are those who we are most compatible with. Compatibility means: a state in which two things are able to exist or occur together without problems or conflict. It doesn’t just have to be romantic relationships, it can mean friendship, improving relationships at work or with your family members. Want to know which personality types are compatible? Here’s a definitive guide that applies to ALL personality types.
Camaraderie vs Compatibility: Same does not equal compatible!
For every personality type, there are 3 others that have exactly the same cognitive functions, but in a different order. These are your Comrades & people of your same “Quadra”. They are the people that are least compatible with you, but can teach you how to improve your ego functions. Similarly, for every type, there are 4 that have the opposite functions in whichever order. It will be these 4 types that you will find yourself most compatible with. Let’s find out why…
The purpose of camaraderie is to learn from others in your quadra. You learn to improve your weakest functions from others who have them higher in their stack. For example, if you had Fe inferior, you could learn so much about how to use Extroverted Feeling in a positive manner from someone who has Fe hero or even Fe child. You might observe how they bring a plate of homemade cookies to the christmas party, or ask them for much needed social advice.
On the other hand, the Fe hero might “overshadow” your attempts to socialize, or help others. This feeling of competition might make this person irritate you. I (Emma) notice this among Fe hero women. Who brought the biggest cake? Who helped decorate more? Who cleaned up afterwards? With those similar to you, It becomes a challenge of one upmanship.
The fact that you carry the same cognitive functions but they have different temperaments can irritate others in your quadra. This is because there is a perception of you “doing it wrong”, just because you don’t use the function exactly as they do. If you had Ti hero (Introverted Thinking), a Ti inferior might accuse you of “overthinking” or being too forward with your opinions. You on the other hand might perceive the Fe hero as “try hard” or “overly agreeable”.
Another example of a camaraderie relationship: An INFP with others in the Delta Quadra, such as an ESTJ. Both of these types have Te but in different slot. So the INFP (with Te inferior) could learn to mimic some of the Te hero traits of the ESTJ. They won’t get along so well, but if they can humble themselves a bit, they can sharpen each other’s ego functions.
When you get with someone who has your shadow functions, you feel like they just get you. But why is that? Well, the extroverted functions consume the introverted functions. This means that if you have Ne (Extroverted Intuition), you want to consume other people’s Ni (Introverted Intuition). Ne users are always asking, “ what do you want?” and Ni users are very wanty people. It would be very problematic for 2 Ne users because they have no idea what they want.
On the other hand if you had two Ni users, they would compete to get what they wanted. That is why you want someone with the Introverted or extroverted versions of your function stack. Compatibility mimics the completeness that is individuation. When you partner up with someone in your shadow, you two become an unstoppable force. You can see the whole map together, when most can only see half. You’ve got eachothers backs!
An example of compatible types would be an INTJ (Ni Te Fi Se) & an INTP (Ti Ne Si Fe). Notice that the functions are all opposite, one has Te, the other Ti, and so forth. So in this case, the INTJ is always asking what the INTP thinks & the INTP is happy to provide that information. If the INTP’s Fe inferior is seeking some moral insights from the INTJ’s Fi Child, the INTJ will be okay sharing this information & won’t overwhelm the Fe inferior with moral judgment.
The Socionics Quadras
If we categorize the 16 MBTI types into groups of four, we get four groups. We categorize them based on camaraderie, meaning that every type in each quadra shares the same functions.
Which quadra are you in?
INTP – ENTP – ISFJ – ESFJ
INFJ – ENFJ – ISTP – ESTP
INTJ – ENTJ – ISFP – ESFP
INFP – ENFP – ISTJ – ESTJ
Your Opposite Functions
You are most compatible with personality types that are in the opposite quadra, meaning they have the opposite functions. The type that has the opposite functions in the same slots as you will be the one with whom you are said to be most compatible.
For example, an INFP (Fi Ne Si Te) & ENFJ (Fe Ni Se Ti) or INTP (Ti Ne Si Fe) & ENTJ (Te Ni Se Fi).
However, you will get along with pretty much anyone in your opposing quadra.
Personality Quadra Compatibility:
Alpha – Gamma
Beta – Delta
Types of Compatibility:
You don’t need psychology to tell you that some relationships are better or worse than others. Some require more work, some seem to click right off that bat. When it comes to the types of compatible relationships, no one is better than the other, but each carries their own unique style and qualities.
Your Golden Pair
Your golden pair is the type that has the opposing functions as you, in the same slots. Your cognitive functions flow seamlessly into one another, as your functions have the same temperaments. If you are introverted by nature, your golden pair will compensate for that, being more extroverted and vice versa.
The silver pair is unique because you and your partner are both introverted or extroverted. It is also unique because your critique function is your partner’s hero, so you can learn alot about your critic function that way.
The bronze pair is pretty cool, your blind spot is their hero, so they can come off as sort of extraordinary to you. You might find yourself thinking, “ How do they do that!?” and one of you is always seemingly saving the day.
Your superego pair will have all of your shadow functions flipped upside down. They are your exact opposite. This is sometimes referred to as the “growth pairing”, and usually these relationships don’t last among immature people. This relationship is problematic at times because the hero and inferior functions clash, one being too strong for the other to carry. Oftentimes, a cognitive transition occurs & forces the inferior function to aspire heroically in order to accommodate the partner. This is why maturity is required for this type of relationship.
Cognitive Emulation – For Advanced Players Only
What if you are in a position that you want to make a good impression, perhaps to a business partner, employer, or in-law? In this case you can utilize a technique called Cognitive Emulation.
If you can type the person with whom you want to impress, you can emulate their golden pair, or opposite functions.
This is not easy as it requires substantial knowledge of the archetypes and is very exhausting on our minds. After a couple hours we need to return back to our ego functions, where our minds are most at rest. Cognitive emulation should only be done for small periods of time and obviously not with someone who you will be spending a lot of time with.
When it comes to compatibility, you do not want to date within your quadra. This usually results in competition, pettiness, and lack of cognitive awareness. Find someone instead who completes or compliments you. They can be found in your opposite quadra. The Alpha Quadra is most compatible with the Gamma Quadra. The Beta is most compatible with the Delta Quadra.
If you want to mimic compatibility for a short period of time, the technique you would use is called Cognitive Emulation. The Type you are most compatible with is your golden pair, they have the opposite functions as you in the same slots, meaning the functions line up perfectly and can easily communicate.